Faster Then a Speeding Bullet

Oh how I would love to sit and relax and watch the world pass by at a slow and comfortable crawling along pace. Yet for some reason, I hopped on the speeding bullet train instead, and the days fly by at an alarmingly fast pace, all the while my hair whipping in the wind behind me, and my to-do list flying right out the window. Because after all, who has time for to do lists.

This crazy train that I happened to accidentally on purpose board, was school. I do love it though. I love the structure that it adds to my day, the challenges it provides for my mind, and I even enjoy the little break that it gives me from the boys (shhh!) I love finding that crazy hectic that balances out the slow and mundane. It makes that don't get dressed until noon, nothing to do Sunday, seem almost like a day lounging in the sun with my feet dipped into a crystal clear ocean water. Ok not quite, not even close, but it really makes me appreciate the downtime. The curl up on the couch, haven't even thought about combing my hair type of downtime.

And if anything, school helps me prioritize my week. Although school usually falls somewhere near the bottom after the boys, Justin, sleep and coffee, at least it makes the list.

And now as we move into February, and the sun is lingering just a little longer in the cloudy gray sky. And that little red line on the thermometer is climbing, stretching, reaching, trying to hit the 20 degree mark (for now at least), and we, well we are soaking it in. The phrase most commonly heard around here most mornings is "Wyatt go outside play catch snow!?" Of course this is usually asked while he is stark naked except for a pair of cars winter boots on his chubby little feet. But we delay, and delay, with puzzles and books, and a little Go, Diego, Go. And then...we go outside.

The driveway and yard can be transformed into a different world through the mind of a two year old. He'll dig and crawl and make snow angels, and Ben watches from my arms, bundled up to an almost impossible to move stiffness, giggling with delight at his older brother's antics.

Our plate is quite full these days, but with a full plate, comes a full cup, and that is what feeds my soul on gray winter days, and fuels the fire when we need to burn the candle at both ends and just make it through the crazy -when-does-this-ride-stop week.

It's all about balance...at least that's what I tell myself.

Friday At The Airport

When there was only one, the day was simple. There was no question on how to divide my time, or if a trip out was really necessary (and worth the trouble of getting everyone ready) no, we just went. Wyatt and I had so many fun days, little dates here and there. He'll always have a little special edge in my eye, I'm not going to lie. After all, he's the one who made me a Mom, so he'll forever hold that little special badge right there on his chest, saying loud and proud for all to see that he's the first born.

(making snow angels)

Lately though, as Ben Riley learns to move and groove and wants to laugh and smile with you and melt your heart in that way that little babies so easily do, I've started to notice a different reaction from Wyatt. Almost a little hurt, like the bounce had left his step. And even though I know that this gift of a sibling will bring him a lifetime of joy, friendship and companionship, I think that at his young age, Ben is just more of a nuisance who takes his toys.

On a particularly crabby Friday last week. I asked Wyatt what him and I should do, just us, no Ben, no Dad, just my firstborn and I. His response was clear and direct and I knew instantly there was no talking him out of that one. He wanted to go to the airport.

So Ben went off with Nana and Papa and Wyatt and I headed on out. When we pulled into the short term parking lot and got a space only a crosswalk away from the airport. I said a little thank you for small towns. And because we had (just by chance) timed it ever so perfectly, the airport was between flights, and therefore deserted.

We passed through the automatic sliding glass doors, and it was as if paradise had just appeared before Wyatt's eyes. The baggage carousel, the escalators, the big dead animals behind glass. (yes that's right). Not knowing which way to go first, he took off in a near sprint, me trailing closely behind, happy once again to live in a small town.

Several, well close to ten, escalator rides later, I finally talked him into heading home. We had thoroughly explored every nook and cranny of that airport that was available to us without going through security. And I'm sure the TSA agents were starting to whisper and wonder when our heads kept appearing over the bend of the rising escalator every few minutes, only for us to turn around and go back where we came from. Oh well, I just smiled.

Wyatt thanked me with a kiss as I strapped him into his car seat, and off we headed. Home again, listening to the garbage truck song on repeat, and at a volume that was just a little too loud. Home again to a brother and a Daddy and a world of Mommy sharing. But he talked for days about his trip to the airport, and I knew that when we were there, he felt like the only boy in the world.

Caught In The Act

I suppose Ben thought he had hit the motherload when he was able to reach his toy basket AND pull it over...that is until I called his name, then he just gave me the deer in the headlights, caught with his hand in the cookie jar look...

Jackpot!

Uh-Oh! Busted!

Ben Riley

It seems that I'm going to have to learn how to always keep my eyes open, because whenever I blink, even just for the slightest quick second, I open my eyes to find that time is passing me by ever so quickly. And Ben, who keeps ignoring my "stay little" messages that I whisper in his ear at night, is changing, transforming, awakening to his world, and itching so bad to be a part of the hustle and bustle and not just a spectator waiting on the bench to get in the game.

December 23rd was the 6 month mark for Ben Riley. Six months since the moment I first held his slippery little body in my arms. Six months since my heart grew to a size that I didn't know it could. Six months since I realized that siblings are the best gift a mother could ever give to her child.

1 month 6months

I can close my eyes and go back to that very day, the feelings, the tears, the smell of a brand new baby resting on my chest. Magic, pure magic. And he has lived up to that magical first meeting every day. He is the picture of content. A quiet observer. Happy to just be.

With Ben I have something that I never knew I was missing, cuddles. Wyatt, much like myself, wasn't and still isn't big into cuddling. Wyatt would never just sit and rock and be held, even as an infant. But Ben, my heart feels such a strong ache when I hold him. An ache that tells me it's being stretched to it's limits and is just on the brink of exploding with happiness. When I hold him in my arms, his little body relaxes into me and he lays his fuzz covered head against my chest, and gazes with those piercing blue eyes, right into mine. I could get lost in those eyes. Those eyes, I am quite certain, are home to some old soul, happily residing inside.

He's raring to go, trying to crawl, eating whatever he can get his hands on, toys included, and teaching us all just a little about what happiness really is.

Happy half a year Ben Riley!

How Do You Measure A Year

*Something happened in the uploading process and I no longer have music with the video! So I added the music player to my blog for this so leave your sound on while you watch the video

And Then, Life Happened

I suppose that having my days filled with children, and "work" and getting ready for the holidays, isn't a bad thing. And that I'm so busy that when I finally sit down at night, the very last thing I want to do, is write a blog post. My cup is full, and it's spilling over the edge, forming a pool around the base. But, now that holidays are over, I can loosen my collar a little bit, and maybe just maybe, slump into the corner of the couch, with a nice big cup of coffee, and have a little time to relax and catch up.

The condensed version of it though, is that life is good. I feel like I say that so often in my posts that I may sound a little hokey, but it's so true. Our month has been busy with cookie parties, visiting with family, photo sessions, making and shopping for Christmas presents, holiday decorating, and all that life throws our way.

Justin and his sisters

(Ben and his Godmother/Aunt Emily)

And The boys, well, they are just splendid. Ben's a sitting champ, and trying so hard to pull those little chubby knees up under himself so that he can just go and catch his big brother who never seems to slow down. Ben's starting to eat some soft foods, and if he had his way, he would eat all day. I have yet to find a food that he doesn't like!

And Wyatt, man oh man, how on Earth did I get lucky enough to have such a sweet, fun, handsome and personable son. I may be bragging just a little, but he just makes my heart burst. He is so polite, always saying his "please" and "thank yous", and I wish that I could bottle the energy that he possesses and use it on my tired days, because it seems that Wyatt is drinking coffee instead of water all day by the way he acts. His imagination is limitless and he is always looking for dinosaurs around our house.

This year, as soon as the snow was on the ground, I couldn't wait for Christmas.

I knew that Wyatt would be into it, and understand, be so much fun, and he certainly was. His excitement on Christmas was contagious. He kept saying "awesome, thank you Santa!" He even shared all of his toys with Ben, and was pretty sure that Ben's toys were his as well.

We spent the holiday with both of our families, Justin's family does Christmas on Christmas Eve, so we never have dueling families on Christmas day.

And this was my special project for the boys this Christmas. I have 25+ hours of work into it, but I know it will bring years of fun in return. Wyatt even spent most of Christmas morning hanging out inside. Each piece is an applique individually sewn on, the mailbox has mail inside, the watering can comes off to water the flowers, and the tree has four different types of fruit that you can interchange and pick off the tree and put in the basket!

Now that the presents have all been unwrapped and are starting to find their way to the homes in Wyatt and Ben's rooms, and we are all starting to come back down from our sugar high, life is starting to find its way back to a normal pace, a more relaxed livable pace. But still...life is good.